Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
