who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
did you get engaged???
i don't like sucking hair
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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