im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
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Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
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I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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