Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
