so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
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I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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