You're so nebulous sometimes
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
