Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
