There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
People in love make me want to vomit
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
