your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
