I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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