I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
