you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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