his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
