I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
