I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
