just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
