I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
