I wish my penis had an off switch
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
