I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
