hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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