this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
