I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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