I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
