So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
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