I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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