Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
