Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
