I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
i think im in europe. pls send help
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
