You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Even the bartender felt bad for me
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
