wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
