I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Randomize
