M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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