at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
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