We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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