Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
