His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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