i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
