why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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