when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
