By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize