Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
