So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
