How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
