Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
