I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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