I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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