I should be sponsored by Trojan
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
