Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
