the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
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His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
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I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
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