We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize
