Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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