we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
