PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
