Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You're like the curious george of whores
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
