question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
