Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize