well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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