I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
