It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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