i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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