My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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