East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
