ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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