Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
3pm strippers are depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize